Real Love

Love is like a manager with three employees. The manager told the employees of a new company program that would bring more paperwork and more hassle of all kinds. The first employee said, "You know that this program won't accomplish its stated goals. It will only hurt productivity, and I refuse to be part of a program that will only cost you your job." Then he returned to his office and pushed all of the new paperwork into his garbage can. The second employee said, "This is such a great idea! I've been looking for an opportunity just like it. You can count on me." Then he returned to his office, stacked the new paperwork on the corner of his desk, and put it out of his mind. The third employee said, "This is such a load of crap! My job was hard enough already, and now you pile this on me too? I can't do this." Then he returned to his office and began working on the new paperwork.

Each of these men displayed an element of love. The first man showed some concern for his superior, and that's admirable. Unfortunately, he didn't really do anything helpful. In fact, his defiance cost the team the benefit of his knowledge and labor. Lost time and delayed projects probably made the manager look even worse. The second man showed a great attitude. He felt good about his manager and made his manager feel good too. At least for a little while. At least the first employee performed according to expectations. The second employee added lying to insubordination. The third employee didn't make anyone feel good. He complained and acted as if he wouldn't contribute to the new program at all. However, he was the only one of the three who actually attempted to do the work. At the end of the week, the third employee was the only one who kept his job. He was the only one who showed any meaningful love for his manager.

Good feelings and good words are great. Everyone loves to be in love, to feel warm and fuzzy and glowing. Those things are important, and all of the best marriages will have them. However, being "in love" is such a minor thing in the whole of real love. All the good feelings in the world don't help anyone except the one who has them. The object of your affections can't feel your affection. It won't keep them warm at night or dress their wounds, or encourage them when they're down. Love, to mean anything at all, must be expressed. Not just in words, because words, though still important, aren't much better than feelings. Love must be expressed through action. I can have all the affection in the world for you, but if I don't do anything for you, what good is it? Being in love without doing the things that love entails is the ultimate expression of selfishness. It denies the object of your affection any benefits, hogging them all to yourself.

The most important part of love is what you do, not how you feel or what you say.